Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been. Lives in a dream. Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for? All the lonely people. Where do they all come from? All the lonely people. Where do they all belong? The world is full of lonely people. There might be a lonely person sitting next to you on the bus, working alongside you at work, behind the window you are walking past, or even in the next room to you now - in the heart of your family. Loneliness can be staring you in the face in the mirror and you can't see it. Maybe you are lonely, can't find anyone on the same length, can't talk to strangers or even your family and tell them your inner most secret thoughts. Loneliness doesn't discriminate. Loneliness sometimes strikes us when we least expect it. Loneliness does affect us all at sometime, even for a brief spell. But some people spend a life of loneliness, never having anyone to share with. Have a look at the first illustration and see if any of the descriptive words strike a cord. If you can list more than three then you need to look at your life.
Loneliness is not a disability but a whole variety of disabilities can make people lonely. And many of these disabilities are outside the categories of disability as laid down in the original DDA (Disability Discrimination Act) but I still think they are disabilities and have barriers that need to broken down.
I'm talking about self confidence and self esteem. I'm talking about negativity and inaction. I'm talking about those who are trapped, perhaps when they are at work and not able to apply for a new position or even finding any satisfaction there. And considering most of us spend a third of our days at work then this is really depressing. I read the other day that over 81% of the population spend more than an hour a day thinking about what they'd like to do if they could, or if they won the lottery, or had a car, or had friends to go out with at the weekend. Think about it. That is equivalent to almost one and a half days a month. Wishing your life away. There are some people that so lack in confidence and self esteem that they won't even go out of their from door. Think how difficult this is, for what I guess we would call able-bodied people! Now consider how much more difficult for disabled folk. Maybe someone who has little or no eye-sight; a wheelchair user; or someone who has a mental disability. And some do suffer but many have managed to overcome and found confidence to do great things. Have a look at the Paralympics. Look at politicians and scientists that have done so well. So here's the thing. If you feel lonely are are out and about start being aware of others. Instead of sitting there afraid to look at others or say anything. Start looking at other people in the face, not starting but just looking at them for a second or two and smile. Don't carry on looking. Look away after a second or two, long enough for them to recognise and respond. Then move on. This is really beneficial.
It actually makes you feel good inside, smiling lightens your spirit
The other person may smile back and this will make them feel good. Most people feel good if they are just acknowledged with a smile.
The other person may smile at someone else and the cycle continues.
This will ripple out and affect many people over a relatively fast period.
I guess smiling is a good head exercise too.
Look at this girl here. If she smiled at you then you'd probably feel good and smile back. This is not some sort of strange way to pick up or be picked up by someone but merely a stranger giving a happy signal.Give it a try. And you can raise your confidence too. A smile is often the introduction to an exchange of words. But first step first. Want to shrug off loneliness or build your confidence? Then start smiling at people today. I know its not easy but take that first step and it will become easier and more enjoyable every time. Out of interest I smile and talk to most people in shops, on buses and trains, queuing anywhere, in doctors waiting rooms. I'm not looking for any sort of conversation just passing the time of day. If someone wants to talk more then I'm usually up for it. Usually it's "Lovely day isn't it", "Did you see the match yesterday?" "It's busy here today isn't it" Try this and be surprised day. Sometimes people will ignore you, others they'll look annoyed but in my experience about 98 out of every 100 will respond positively.
So stop thinking you ain't good enough. Throw away that invisible cloak that you hide inside. Step out into the real world and live. So forget about the words at the top of the page and look at this grid. Now choose the words that describe you or that you would like to be described as. Learn about your inner self. Now look at those words again. Easy! Positive! Optimistic! Free! Certain! Daring! Affectionate! Curious! Who do you know who has all those characteristics? Would you like to be more like them? To be more confident, with self-esteem, and a good mixer you need to gather others with those qualities around you, they will energise you and also ward off pessimistic, miserable lonely people.
These statistics cover Great Britain and are reviewed and updated
throughout the year as new data is published. Sources are available under Official Statistics,Disability facts and figures, Published
General demographics and Employment
There are over 11 million people with a limiting long term illness, impairment or disability. The most commonly-reported impairments are those that affect mobility, lifting or carrying . The prevalence of disability rises with age. Around 6% of children
are disabled, compared to 16% of working age adults and 45% of adults
over State Pension age .
It is obvious that the number of adults over the State Pension age is going to be high. This group usually fear and expectthat they will gain a disability as they grow older.
Disabled people remain
significantly less likely to be in employment than non-disabled people.
In 2012, 46.3% of working-age disabled people are in employment
compared to 76.4% of working-age non-disabled people. There is
therefore
a 30.1 percentage point gap between disabled and non-disabled people,
representing over 2 million people. The gap has reduced by 10 percentage
points over the last 14 years and has remained stable over the last two
years despite the economic climate The number of disabled people of working age is a concern because many are unemployed despite being capable. Employers are supposed to take on the most capable person for a position but because some don't see beyond the disability they feel the person will not be able to carry out their duties: it will be difficult for the business to support them: a fear that the person will need extra time away from work: or many other reasons. I feel that we still have an upward struggle to get the message across that often the disabled person will be a real benefit to the business.
Living standards
A substantially higher proportion of individuals who live in families
with disabled members live in poverty, compared to individuals who live
in families where no one is disabled. 19% of individuals in families with at least one disabled member live
in relative income poverty, on a before housing costs basis, compared
to 15% of individuals in families with no disabled member.
21% of children in families with at least one disabled member are in
poverty, a significantly higher proportion than the 16% of children in
families with no disabled member.
The gaps here appears to be a direct tie in with employment. I believe that education plays an important role here as so many disabled people have suffered a poor education in the past which will be reflected in their initial CV and lack of scholastic achievements compared to others at the interview stage. The disabled people who are unable to find work will find that they stay in the poverty zone and are unlikely to be able to pull themselves out. And as we know, this group are fighting higher prices across the board, often shopping at local convenience stores where goods can be slightly more expensive. This also applies to utilities where they are tied to higher rates or even on paid meter charges. And all of these slight increases add up and eat into low incomes. We all realise too that low income families often buy less nutritious foods, sometimes through necessity but often through ignorance. We are bombarded with cooking programmes on TV, most of which take some experience to duplicate at home. Convenience foods rule. But home cooing from raw ingredients is cheaper and nutritious.
Education
And now for some good news.
Between 2005 to 2006 and 2010 to 2011, the percentage of pupils at
the end of Key Stage 4 achieving 5 or more GCSEs at grades A* to C has:
increased from 66.3% to 88.9% for students without Special Educational Needs (SEN)
increased from 19.8% to 59.2% for students with SEN without a statement
increased from 8.7% to 24.9% for students with SEN with a statement pupils at
the end of Key Stage 4 achieving 5 or more GCSEs at grades A* to C has:
The gap for students with and without special educational needs without a statement has dramatically closed which means that there will be more opportunities for work in the future for these disabled people. They will be able to compete at the interview stage and hopefully will have sufficiently strong personalities to impress the interviewer.
19.2% of working age disabled people do not hold any formal qualification, compared to 6.5% of working age non-disabled people. With the educational success in recent years this will improve as explained above
14.9% of working age disabled people hold degree-level qualifications compared to 28.1% of working age non-disabled people. There is a wide gap here but it is hoped that universities are making a bigger effort to fulfill the needs of disabled students and putting them on a more level playing field.
Independent living
Over a quarter of disabled people say that they do not frequently have choice and control over their daily lives
Discrimination
Disabled people are significantly more likely to experience unfair
treatment at work than non-disabled people. In 2008, 19% of disabled
people experienced unfair treatment at work compared to 13% of
non-disabled people. Around a third of disabled people experience difficulties related to
their impairment in accessing public, commercial and leisure goods and
services. Despite the different legislation, starting with the DDA 2004, only a small percentage of businesses and organisations have taken any practical steps to remove obstacles and there is still a lack of awareness about disability that creates discrimination.
Leisure, social and cultural activities
Disabled people remain significantly less likely to participate in
cultural, leisure and sporting activities than non-disabled people.
Latest data shows disabled people are more likely to have attended a
historic environment site, museum or gallery than in 2005 to 2006.
However, disabled people are less likely to have attended a library over
the same period.
I know from experience as a disability access consultant and auditor that many public facilities are in older building where access is difficult and barriers cannot always be removed, and I believe that this, together with the difficulties around crowds of people has lead to less disabled people attending cultural, social or sporting activities. The Paralympics have done much in the last few years to change our perspective regarding disable people and this can only lead us towards a more inclusive society.
Civic involvement and volunteering
Disabled people remain significantly less likely to participate in
cultural, leisure and sporting activities than non-disabled people.
Latest data shows disabled people are more likely to have attended a
historic environment site, museum or gallery than in 2005 to 2006.
However disabled people are less likely to have attended a library over
the same period Disabled people are significantly less likely to engage in formal
volunteering. In 2010 to 2011, 23% of disabled people engaged in formal
volunteering at least once a month, compared with 25% of non-disabled
people.
Transport
Around a fifth of disabled people report having difficulties related to their impairment or disability in accessing transport Between 2004 to 2005 and 2011 to 2012, the percentage of buses with low-floor wheelchair access increased from 52% to 88%.
But I see that this has changed now. The deadline for having level access onto public transport was 2015 and all new buses have been suitably equipped. I have seen that locally pavements have been raised to accommodate older vehicles. This must be good news for wheelchair users.
Housing
Although the gap in non-decent accommodation has closed over recent
years, 1 in 3 households with a disabled person still live in non-decent
accommodation. 1 in 5 disabled people requiring adaptations to their home believe that their accommodation is not suitable.
Good news today.
The bedroom tax has been declared unlawful by the appeal court due to
its impact on vulnerable individuals, dealing a significant blow to the Work and Pensions Secretary. Judges ruled that in two cases – those of a victim of extreme
domestic violence and grandparents of a severely disabled teenager – the
government’s policy amounted to unlawful discrimination. The disability case was brought by Paul
and Sue Rutherford, grandparents of Warren, who is seriously disabled
child and who needs overnight care in a specially adapted room.
In both cases, the claimants faced a cut in housing benefit because
they were deemed to be “under-occupying” the additional rooms which were
classified as spare.
This should be good news for those caring for other severely disabled people needing similar care in similar situations.
Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been. Lives in a dream. Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
